You are not alone
Did you know that even swan’s get divorced?
How do I keep myself sane through all this?
I think we all go a little crazy during big life changes like divorce & separation, so first of all accept that it’s OK to feel emotional, scared, angry or numb – depending on what stage of the process you are in. Understanding those stages can help you work with your emotional state, rather than against it.
What are the psychological stages I will go through?
World-wide, divorce and family breakup is a process we experience in the same way: as a form of bereavement. Luckily, because we can recognize those emotional stages, which include shock, anger, and pain, we can compensate in ways that stop our emotional state leading us into an adversarial divorce, or leaving ourselves open to be manipulated by others due our vulnerable state. These key stages are explained in Booklet One in our Alternative Divorce Guide.
How can I begin to move forward when I feel so stuck?
It’s tough to take a step in the right direction when you have no map to guide you. You also need to understand where you are emotionally, and where you want to end up. Usually, that is wanting
to become financially separated, but co-parenting together, with happy secure children who feel loved by both parents. Believing in this destination can seem impossible and requires some inspiration and proof that others have successfully journey’d through the same experiences as you, and started over afresh.
How can my emotional state cause me to make this divorce worse than it needs to be?
Deciding on whether a life coach would be more useful to you than a counsellor, or accessing support groups – all impact on how you deal with the psychological journey of divorce and family breakup. When a person is angry, afraid or in shock, the way they use tools like divorce mediation, or their ability to work with a financial planner to map out their financial future, can be sabotaged by what are completely understandable emotions. Sometimes, professionals whose focus is not on the long-term happiness of the family as a whole, can drive behavior which is adversarial, expensive and destructive to the wellbeing of the children, exploiting the anger or fear of their client. This is why it is extremely important to understand and accept your current emotional state, and know how to use it to your advantage – rather than opening the doors to others who can exploit your emotional state in ways that will ultimately cause harm.