Anywhere between 40-50% of marriages in the U.S. alone end in divorce. While you may have tried to do everything in your power to prevent it, divorce happens for a variety of reasons.
The good news? It doesn’t mean your life has to end or that you have lost your sense of self. It also doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to feel loved again.
But, it can feel strange and even overwhelming to consider dating again after going through a divorce. You might be hearing different things from friends and family, some encouraging you to “get back out there” while others think you should wait.
The most important thing to consider is how you want to take back your life. If that includes involving someone else, then there are some tips to keep in mind if you want to consider dating again.
- Think About Why You Want to Date
One of the biggest mistakes you can make with dating after a divorce is doing it for the wrong reasons.
Don’t let your inner circle pressure you into dating. There is no “right” timeline to get back out there, and you’ll know when you’re ready.
It’s also important not to date on impulse. Yes, you might have times of loneliness. Maybe you want to get valentine’s day flowers from someone. And, you will. But, that shouldn’t be the sole reason you decide to date. If you jump back into the dating world for the wrong reasons, it’s more likely to end up in disaster.
- Set Realistic Expectations
While dating again can be exciting, setting realistic expectations for yourself, a potential partner, and any future relationship(s) will make a big difference. Don’t expect to find your soulmate right away. Maybe you will, maybe you won’t. But, your expectations should be more about yourself rather than who you’re dating.
Take this opportunity and this new chapter in your life to learn about yourself and the things you want/need. When you do start to date, look at each one through that prospective lens. If you’re able to do that, you’re more likely to find someone you’ll truly click with.
- Be Honest About Everything
While you don’t need to spill your entire life story on a first date, it’s a good idea to be open and upfront with anyone you start to go on multiple dates with. They should know you’re divorced and any other major life events that impact your life, such as kids, if your parents live with you, etc.
As you get closer to someone, it will also be beneficial to tell them the details of your divorce and why it happened, in the first place. Again, you don’t need to go into too many painful memories, but if you’re serious about someone, they deserve to know.
Dating after a divorce needs to be on your terms. When you’re ready to start, you’ll know. But, keep in mind that you do deserve love, and you deserve the relationship you always hoped for.
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