Relationships evolve and vary. Sometimes,l they are happy. But sometimes, they can drag you down. When this happens, getting a fresh start in your love could be the best thing for you. It is a daunting step to take. So, naturally, you find yourself looking at excuses to prevent the inevitable. 

Yet, in many situations, not divorcing could be a bad decision for your mental health, happiness, self-esteem, and emotional stability. There may be reasons that can make the legal separation more stressful, yet you are not gaining any peace of mind by remaining in a relationship that makes you unhappy. 

#1. I could try to spice things up

You’d be surprised to know how many individuals think they can save their marriage by spicing things up. You can always make the relationship more exciting. Yet, the right time for it is before you fall out of love. There is nothing to gain from spicing up your relationship when you have already grown apart. It becomes a waste of your time and energy, especially if your partner may not want to try to change the routine as much as you do. 


#2. Foreign-born partners worry about immigration status

A lot of couples in which one partner was born abroad struggle with the idea of divorce. Foreign-born partners worry a lot about their immigration status and right to stay in the country after a divorce. The truth is that you can’t stay unhappily married to guarantee your right to remain. In fact, according to immigration law, a marriage may not be enough to grant you this right. Indeed, you need to apply for indefinite leave to remain, which will, in turn, give you the right to apply for a British passport. Getting married can contribute to shortening the period you need to have been in the country before applying for the right to stay. Yet, you can apply for a visa in the meantime to prolong your stay. 


#3. We bought a house together

Buying a property and signing a mortgage loan together makes your home a marriage asset. In a divorce, sharing a property can a tricky. However, if selling isn’t an option, there are other alternatives you and your former spouse can take. You can make it part of the settlement or ask the court to decide if you can’t come to a decision. A lot of divorced couples agree to let one partner live in the house until the children turn 18, for instance. 


#4. I’m too old for this

Age is never an excuse. Nobody is too old to find love. The desire to find someone special remains with you. After a divorce, you are emotionally mature and experienced, which can make it easier to be objective when you meet someone new. 


#5. I worry about loneliness

Loneliness is always going to be part of the story. However, fear of loneliness should not affect your decision. Staying with someone when you are not happy together is not the answer to loneliness. It is the cause. 


In conclusion, fears can affect your perception of your relationship. Being afraid of what could happen if you divorce can make you consider staying in an unhappy relationship. But those worries can be resolved. So don’t let them stop you from finding your path. 















* contributed post