LGBTQ+ Dating: Tips and Advice for Finding Love As A Transgender Person after Divorce


Dating is challenging post divorce and can bring with it plenty of stress, but when you’re navigating your dating life with the risk of transphobia, it adds even more difficulty. Even the most affirming cisgender person can have reservations about dating someone who’s trans, as physical preference is an integral part of a healthy relationship and is part of the reason why it can sometimes feel hopeless or lonely trying to find someone. Being transgender and trying to traverse the dating scene is extremely hard, which is why we’ve created this guide to help you keep yourself safe, have a good time, and find love.


Your Identity


One of the most daunting aspects of trans dating is disclosing your gender identity to a partner, and coming out to someone you just met can be scary, especially when they are a potential new partner. It’s essential to remember that when, how, and if you are going to disclose you are transgender is entirely up to you as many people don’t feel the need to come out to a new partner for a number of reasons, such as a lack of intention to take a date any further or fear of a safety risk if they reveal their identity. Whether you decide to come out to some partner and not to others depends entirely on you as well as the nature of the relationship.


Many transgender people have a difficult time determining when and how to disclose their identity or when to find the right time. If you’re using a matchmaking site or a dating app, many trans people find it easier to include their identity on their profiles, as this is the ideal way to weed out any potential partners that may be hateful or transphobic, often being on the receiving end of slurs such as ”Shemale” or ”Tranny” that can be interpreted in either a derogatory way or a way that is used to sexualize trans singles. However, other people in LGBT dating circles often prefer to keep this private initially on mainstream sites for fear of being fetishised, which is why many use websites like DatingHive in order to find the best transgender dating services in the UK.


Another way that many transsexual people make the method of disclosure easier is by asking potential partners for their pronouns early into the conversation, as this provides them with the perfect window to disclose their identity while getting a sense of how accepting this partner is. Ultimately, as we mentioned already, you can choose to reveal your identity at any time or in any way, and it can be as simple as saying, “By the way, I’m transgender.”


Your Safety


Whenever you’re dating, it is always important to think of your safety. If you believe a potential partner may cause you physical or psychological harm, it is imperative that you get yourself away from them quickly. The perfect way to ensure safety on a first date is to let a trusted friend or family member know your plans ahead of time and meet in a public place. If ever you are hurt by someone you are on a date with or by a long-term partner, it is crucial to get help immediately and utilise any bystanders that may be around as well as call the police. However, if you’re unsure of what to do in a situation, or you just want some advice, you can always contact the LGBTQ+ helpline that was set up specifically to provide help to those who have been hurt by hate crimes, domestic abuse, or sexual abuse.


Communicate Your Needs


As with any relationship, it is vital that you let your partner know what you want and need from them in order to achieve a successful relationship. Establishing communication early on ensures that there will never be any confusion that can arise further down the line, and being on the same page will help make both of you happier in the long run. In any partnership, both parties need to have a say, and it’s crucial that your needs are valued while making sure your partners are also met. There should also be fun in relationships, which means you shouldn’t be afraid to express your desires or suggest trying something new. Communicating your wants and needs is what makes dating fun while making sure you find a partner that is a perfect match for you.


Never Settle For Less


Many non-binary people feel that when they meet someone who accepts their gender identity, it means they are a good match for them. However, this is not always the case, and while sometimes it can feel as though it is impossible to find love with a person that makes you feel safe, you should never settle for less than what you want or need. Reflect on what your dream partner is and ask yourself what you are looking for; when you understand what you want, don’t accept anything less.


Additionally, what you want may change over time as you age, and that’s ok; the important aspect is that you only ever change for yourself and not for someone else’s sake.















* contributed post