Going through the process of a divorce can be challenging and unpleasant for everyone involved if the right steps aren’t taken to make it easier. This sort of issue isn’t a new one, and people have long struggled to make their splits work for both parties. Of course, though, it’s entirely possible to make your divorce painless as long as you take the right steps and your partner is willing to play ball.
Ensuring that you make the right steps as you go through your divorce will only be possible if you plan from the very beginning. This makes it worth going through each of the stages in this post before you make any big decisions, giving you the chance to set the wheels in motion for a health break up. Let’s take a look at some of the work that can be done to minimize the stress you and your loved ones have to endure during a divorce.
Plan Well Ahead
As mentioned above, planning ahead is one of the best ways to make your divorce go smoothly. While many people struggle with this process, you can make it much easier for yourself and your partner if you have all of the work done before you start your divorce. There are several areas to consider as you go through this, and it’s with making sure that you have every box checked before you get started.
- Your New Home: Many people expect their partner to leave the house they share when they go through a divorce. This isn’t something you can guarantee, though, and it’s worth making sure that you have plans in place to move in case your partner refuses to. Unless they have been doing something very bad to you, it can be extremely hard to kick someone out of a house when you initiate divorce proceedings.
- The Children: In an ideal world, your children should be able to spend an equal amount of time with both of their parents. It’s always a good idea to plan how this will work, taking extra care to consider your partner’s feelings even if you feel angry with them. Your kid’s friends, school, and other activities should all tie into your decisions.
- Legal Support: Divorce is a complicated legal process that most people can’t handle by themselves. It’s always a good idea to receive expert legal advice on your divorce, giving you the chance to ask questions and get help with the process that you’re going through. Making sure that you have the legal side of your divorce ironed out should always be a major priority.
- Finances & Work: If you’re moving far away or haven’t had a job in the past, you may need to look for new ways to fund your family life. Benefits and welfare can help you with this, though many people find it easier if they work and earn money for their little ones. Of course, though, working can be a challenge if you have children in the house.
As you can see, you can take a lot of steps to plan for your divorce. It can feel bad to go through all of this without telling your partner, but you need to make sure that you can secure your future before they are able to influence your decisions. Of course, some people find that they can go through this with their partner’s help, but this is something that you will have to figure out for yourself.
Talk To Children, Family, & Friends
People will almost certainly hear about your divorce once it has gone through. Many people prefer to be the first person to mention this to the people they care about, and this makes it worth taking the time to talk to the people you care about once you’ve done your planning. These conversations you have here will need to be adapted to the people you are talking to.
- Your Children: Your kids will almost certainly be very upset about their parents splitting up, especially if they are young. You need to make sure that they know that this isn’t their fault, while also giving them enough attention as you go through the legal process of divorce. It can be all too easy to neglect your little one’s emotions during a time like this, but you need to work hard to avoid this.
- Family Members: Choosing which family members you would like to tell about your divorce can be hard. Those on your side of the family will be easy, but it can be tricky to know what to do about the people on your partner’s side. Many people choose to try and forge friendships with the people they care about on their partner’s side of the family, making it easier to talk to them in the future.
- Your Friends: People often worry that their friends will side with their partner after a divorce. This can be true, but most people can look past this sort of process as long as you don’t try to turn them against your partner. It’s always best to avoid being rude about your ex unless you are with people who aren’t also friends with them.
- Your Partner: Your partner is going to need to find out about your divorce at some point, and you need to make sure that you handle this correctly to make the rest of the process amicable. Making sure that you are straightforward when you talk about the issue is crucial, and it’s always best to avoid reducing yourself to insulting your ex. Be kind as you do this; no one likes to find out that their partner is leaving them.
People work very hard to make sure that they tell everyone they want to about their divorce. There can be a lot of social pressure to avoid this sort of process, though this isn’t something that you should let stop you if you want to break out of a relationship.
Make It Amicable
There are a lot of good reasons to work on making your divorce amicable. Your children will have an easier time, you and your partner can maintain a positive relationship, and it will save a lot of stress when it comes to the legal proceedings that come with your divorce. While your partner will be part of this, you can work hard to ensure that you never take action that could be perceived as a slight to them.
It’s entirely possible to go through your divorce without having to set foot in a courtroom. You can come to a settlement with your lawyer, and this is something worth preparing before you start the process of your divorce. It’s not always reasonable to ask for half of your family’s possessions, but it’s worth keeping in mind that you are usually able to get repeat payments if your ex earns a lot more than you and you are looking after your children.
It’s not always possible to keep your divorce amicable. If you get the sense that your discussions are devolving, it’s well worth looking for the help of a professional divorce lawyer to mediate your settlement. You can then start to look at court if you are still struggling to come to a reasonable resolution.
Looking After Yourself
It’s easy to neglect yourself when you’re going through a divorce. Many people find themselves so excited about the end of this process that they don’t look after themselves while it is happening around them. Even if you don’t feel stressed or depressed when you think about your mental health, it’s always worth keeping issues like this at the front of your mind so that you don’t fall into the trap of letting your mental health degrade.
Taking time away from work can help with this, enabling you to focus all of your energy on your divorce rather than trying to do it around the long days you already have. Alongside this, you could also look at planning a getaway that will occur during your divorce. This will give you the chance to escape your stress, while also distancing you from the things that will remind you of your partner.
It’s normal to feel bad after you’ve gone through a divorce, even if you really wanted it. This is an emotional process that can take a lot out of a person, and this means that you need to work hard to shield yourself from the worst of this. Talking to a behavioral therapist can be a good way to ease your anxiety and give your mind the chance to heal, making it easier to keep yourself focused on your divorce.
Splitting up with someone that you married is never a small decision. People often struggle to get through this on their own, and it can be a good idea to look for support before you get too deep into the process. Of course, though, this decision could be the best for your family, and this makes it well worth it.
- contributed post