There are a few things that will make you quake in your boots during your lifetime. A proposal can be one of them. This can be especially true if you have suffered a difficult divorce, and thus the act of a proposal might bring up bad memories or make you feel just a little forlorn.

This should be a happy time of course, but we are all a slave to our emotions if we do not attend to them or think about how to react to them. On top of that, a proposal is a worrying time. No matter how much you love or wish to marry said person, you might find that when it comes to it, you are unsure as to how they will reply.

And yet – if you wish to do this, do it. Life is too short to let bad old experiences break you. In all of our divorce advice, we have made it incredibly clear that it is not the end of life, simply the start of a new chapter. This means that moving on is always the healthiest means forward.

And yet, the proposal looms. How do you reduce that fear? Let us explore that together:


You’ll Know When It’s Time


That fear can often be completely subverted by knowing that despite your nerves, you’re still planning to go ahead with it. If this didn’t mean as much to you, you would let those fears win. The fact that you are even searching for advice, or potentially wish to find means of lessening your nerves shows that you plan to go through with the proposal, and hope to do so with care. This shows that you are serious about this, or at least extremely sincere. This is a great sign. You should use it to comfort you. It can also show your courage that despite bad experiences in the past, you are willing to take that risk again for this special someone. To us, that shows that perhaps there is something much more special to your relationship than you might have realized.


You Needn’t Opt For Bravado


Many of us feel as though bravado is needed in order to get the most out of our proposal. We might imagine renting out an entire hall of a hotel, hiring harp and cello players, lining the floor with petals as Gordon Ramsay himself serves us a beautiful meal before you drop down on one knee. Hey, if you can arrange this, then there’s no reason why you should opt for anything different.


But you needn’t opt for bravado to make it special. Often, the best proposals are those that are heartfelt and thought about, not those that are the most expensive. You might decide to visit your hometown and propose their with them, or return to a lovely place, where you first traveled to as a couple.


The Engagement Ring


It is very easy to overthink the engagement ring. There’s often no need for this, however. The best engagement rings are beautiful yet simple, allowing their elegance to speak for themselves. And yet, if you love a baroque design, there’s no reason why you should opt for something gawdy. Using services such as Tacori engagement rings can help you take that true burden from your shoulders – helping you know that one of the most important considerations of the proposal has been well researched and cared for over time.


Don’t Overcomplicate It


There’s no reason to prepare a massive and poetic speech, or to have a dove carry the engagement ring from the sky, or for you to propose at the perfect time when the bells ring out across the city. The less you can overcomplicate this, the less that can go wrong, and the more that you can focus on the emotional intent of sitting on one knee. This in itself can be truly rewarding to experience, and can also help you enjoy this process yourself. Remember – this isn’t some grim duty you assign yourself to. It’s a happy event, and you should be able to enjoy it as well.


It’s a Win-Win


If they accept your proposal, great! If not, then that’s also good, if not the outcome you hoped for. Sometimes, while hard at the time, learning that the relationship needs more time to blossom or that this person is not right for you can save you finding out when you are invested after years of marriage. Consider any outcome to be a win-win, and you’ll lessen your nerves just a little bit more.


With this advice, you’re certain to take fear out of the proposal.


* This is a contributed post and may contain affiliate links