You Don’t Have To Be Friends To Use Divorce Mediation

Find out more about better ways to divorce at


Staring David Tarpey, Lucy Sengelow and the voice of Ashley Ramsden.

Lucy Sengelow:

Lucy trained at the Royal Welsh College of Music & Drama and has over 20 years experience working as an actress. She has worked extensively in theatre, television and in the corporate sector.  Lucy is currently appearing in What Shall We Do With The Cello, an absurdist comedy written by Romanian playwright Matei Visniec.  In the last year the show has toured to the International Festival of Contemporary Drama in Brasov, Transylvania (where the show won Best Director), the Byline Festival, Bunker Theatre, London and later this year, Moldova.  Lucy is also a core cast member of the ongoing sketch comedy show, The Frow Show. Lucy is a highly skilled actor facilitator working across the private and public sector in both assessment and development centres.  Lucy uses roleplay, forum theatre, coaching and feedback in the workplace.  Her most recent programmes have included The Five Conversation Styles, Equality & Diversity, Presentation & Communication Skills and Assessment for Recruitment and Identifying Development Needs.  Companies have included a 3-year programme with London Underground for TfL,  Mercedes Benz & Smart Cars, Henley Business School, Genesis Housing Association, Royal College of GPs and many international blue chip companies such as Campari, William Grant, AstraZenica, Siemens and Jaguar Landrover. 

To find out more about Lucy or to contact her please call 07961 326439 or email Spotlight: 



David Tarpey

As a native Londoner, I originally trained as an actor in Hackney but family life and a career in print and broadcast journalism took over. But in 2015, I returned to my first passion. Since then, I have had a wide range of jobs spanning stage, TV, short films, a feature film, music videos, a games app ad, training videos and a stills photo shoot for a national advertising campaign for Kwik Fit. I’ve been cast as a boxing ref, car mechanic, security guard, farm manager, a commandant, a prison officer, sex scandal MP, sinister government scientist, drug dealer, homeless man, Mr Big gangster, dads, husbands, businessmen and an adult son dealing with grief.
My TV work has included parts on BBC 1, Channel 5, the Crime & Investigation Channel and the History Channel.
I also recently shot a Star Wars fan film in Iceland in which I play the lead antagonist. It will be released in April 2019. I also have a small part in a black comedy due to be released in March 2019.

I’m available for a range of jobs and am very flexible.

Please contact me at: 07950 736 571 or

Find out more here


Ashley Ramsden

Ashley Ramsden established the School of Storytelling in 1994 under the umbrella of Emerson College. He co-founded the International School of Storytelling in 2011.

Ashley’s unique methods of teaching voice and the skills of the storyteller have received international acclaim. He runs workshops, tours with his one-man-shows including A Christmas Carol, The Amazing Adventures of the Hodja Nasrud’din, and Tistou of the Green Thumbs amongst others and is a speaker of sacred poetry. He has been touring recently with wife Flora, focussing on T.S. Eliot’s Four Quartets and is back from a period of refreshment with a host of workshops and new ideas.


Music by:

Longzigun: Nocturnal

graham cupples campfire philosophy part 5


Mediation Sketch: You Don’t Have To Be Friends For Mediation To Work

Mediation Sketch: You Don’t Have To Be Friends For Mediation To Work

You Don’t Have To Be Friends For Mediation To Work

(Less than 10 minutes)

Scene 1:

Janet: I tried mediation already.  It didn’t work.

Mediator: And why was that, Janet?  What was it about mediation that didn’t work for you?

Janet: The mediator asked him about his financial disclosure and HE admitted to having a load of cash in bank accounts I’d never heard of. He’d ferreted it all away as soon as he knew I was leaving him.  I was disgusted.  He’d lied and deceived me for months.

Mediator: And what happened next?

Janet: Well I walked out of the mediation.  How dare he have deceived me all that time.


Mediator: Janet I’m just trying to understand what you’re saying.  So your husband admitted to hiding assets and came clean on everything. And you walked out.  And for you that mean’t that mediation doesn’t work? (more…)

Blaming the journalists may not be getting to the core of the issue

I’ve just read an excellent, brilliant expose of the very poor reporting and bias of some reporters when reporting on Divorce cases.  Over the years, I’ve explained to several journalists who specialise in covering divorce, what a Collaborative Lawyer is, how mediation works and why financial planners are more useful than lawyers in helping couples with assets to work out an initial plan of action.

I have had endless requests – almost annually – of “Divorce Parties are the new thing – do you know anyone who is having one?”. After explaining that I have been receiving the same requests for several years, so divorce parties are in fact, not ‘news’, I suggest that they might instead want to focus on the rise in children self-harming due to their parents nasty divorce, or the increase (at least double I believe) in suicide rates for men after divorce. At which point they usually splutter something about ‘oh yes it’s so much better if it’s all done in a friendly way’ and the conversation grinds to a halt.

I was almost on an ITV facebook live Q&A tonight – and my blog post was to be shared giving real-life guidance on how to keep a divorce nicer than it might otherwise be – but the ITV lawyers decided they wanted a ‘Psych’ instead. Sadly, a ‘Psych’ (Psychotherapist I presume) is unlikely to be sharing information about the value of getting financial advice from experts, or the power of coaching if you want to break out of the ‘victim’ mentality, or even have much clarity on how mediation works and that collaborative law and family arbitration even exist.  (more…)

Why You Shouldn’t Get Divorce Advice From Someone Who Has Been Divorced

Why You Shouldn’t Get Divorce Advice From Someone Who Has Been Divorced


You might think that asking someone who has been divorced for advice about how to get a divorce would be a good thing to do. But often it is a very bad idea indeed.

Because it depends how their divorce went. If it was messy, expensive, traumatic – getting their advice is a bit like asking a gun owner to show you how to use a gun – only he’s got a bullet in his leg from when the gun misfired. And he can’t quite understand how it all happened because he was doing everything he should do just right – so it must be the fault of the gun, or the gun manufacturers.

Meanwhile he has a bullet in his leg and he is an ‘expert’ on how to use guns because he (mis)fired one, once.

Just because someone has experienced a divorce, that doesn’t make them an expert on a better way to divorce.  (more…)