He’s drunk again
Bit wobbly. Eyes not quite focused
On this plane of existence.
He’s somewhere else
Legs dancing incoherently
Tiny steps – Balance?
Or another rhythm from
That other place?
Warm embrace of alcohol
“I’m a nice guy. I mean no harm.”
Arms flap trying to rebalance
For a moment – present in the here and now
Then gone again
like an Innocent
At the young woman.
Bathing in her beauty
With no harmful intentions.
A bit wobbly.
Eyes not quite focused
On this plane of existence.
She shrinks under his stare.
She moves off and leaves him
Betwixt two planes:
And abject lonelines.
You might think that asking someone who has been divorced for advice about how to get a divorce would be a good thing to do. But often it is a very bad idea indeed.
Because it depends how their divorce went. If it was messy, expensive, traumatic – getting their advice is a bit like asking a gun owner to show you how to use a gun – only he’s got a bullet in his leg from when the gun misfired. And he can’t quite understand how it all happened because he was doing everything he should do just right – so it must be the fault of the gun, or the gun manufacturers.
Meanwhile he has a bullet in his leg and he is an ‘expert’ on how to use guns because he (mis)fired one, once.
Just because someone has experienced a divorce, that doesn’t make them an expert on a better way to divorce.
So before a self-proclaimed expert starts giving you divorce advice, remember to ask them a few questions first.
Questions like: “Did you do any research? Oh, ok, you just went to a lawyer. That was it?”
Questions like: “How is your co-parenting relationship these days? Ah, not so good? Haven’t seen the kids for months because she is still angry about the divorce settlement and that flash barrister you used? That must be depressing.”
Questions like: “Did you get any expert financial advice? No? And you’ve worked out that the divorce settlement you made wasn’t one you could actually sustain? That’s awkward. Back to court again then?”
What I suggest, is that you don’t mistake bad experiences for ‘knowledge’ – ask the right questions before you decide who to listen to.
You don’t want to shoot yourself in the leg.
Access free divorce resources at http://bestwaytodivorce.co.uk
Listen to Anchor audio from Best Way To Divorce: Suzy Miller Divorce Strategist as seen on BBC Breakfast TV, Womans Hour, Times, Telegraph, Daily Mail etc
“On Sunday 23rd July, Martina was joined by special guest Suzy Miller, a Divorce Strategist who specialises in guiding UK families towards amicable ways to divorce. We discussed the subject of the divorce procedure and the brand new DIY/self-managed divorce resource, which gives red alerts to how what seemed simple to start with can easily turn unpleasant.
A highly informative and educational show recommended for anyone either thinking of getting or who are going through a divorce.”
I need your help – I am creating a private group that will provide divorcing or separating people with:
- Q & A – answers to specific questions from the group members will be recorded and shared on video/audio within the group
- Video, audio and article Interviews with experts in legal, finance and wellbeing will be shared with the group on the subject of divorce/separation
- Access for free resources including the following benefits:
- Divorce First Aid Kit
- CoParenting in a Box Video Pack (value £48)
- Online Divorce In A Box (value £65)
- Divorce Travel Guide (value £48)
- Divorce Organiser (value £18)
- Access to £100s of expert 1-1 advice
But I need to give it a good name.
Can you help?
Feel free to add your own ideas as well – but don’t click on more than 3 choices (including any of your own)
Choose the name for my facebook ‘how to divorce’ group
Many thanks in advance!